I know that God loves me. And I know that through Him, I will achieve the things that I need to achieve. I do not question His existence because I know that He's there.
I am happy. I am happy because so many good things have happened to me lately. I don't want a hard day to stop me now.
Today I spent nine hours in orientation for my graduate program. Tomorrow I will spend nine or more hours doing the same thing. And then I'll spend more than nine hours each day for the rest of the week. It was hard to sit through.
Since yesterday, I've been experiencing anxiety regarding my grad program. I'm concerned that I won't be able to keep up. I worry that I won't be able to do it. But I'm supposed to be able to achieve the level of education that I desire. If this is the case, then I have no need to fear. So why do I fear?
These problems feel like they come in twos, which is accurate because I'm feeling stress about relationships. Like things will be going fine and then you just do something to mess it up. I think I'm thinking too much. I'm reading way too much into things.
Tonight is a welcome night at school. It started fifteen minutes ago. I have homework. I don't know what to do. I want to go and meet new people, but I need to do my work. I also need dinner. Why does life have to present problems sometimes? I know that people say that my problems are nothing compared to the problems of people in the slums of India or something, but that's an ignorant and insensitive thing to say. I have my problems, they have theirs. It still doesn't change the fact that they are problems. I crave love, support, and intimacy; they might crave food, shelter, and security. I'm grateful for the food, shelter, and security that I enjoy, and I'm sure they are too. But when you have your basic needs covered, you have other problems that crop up. These are mine. I want love, intimacy, and support in my life.
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