Rejection, and why it doesn't hurt tonight

I have a lot of love to give.  As any reader of this blog (all four of you) knows, I want love in my life.  I just do.

It is rare that I am formally rejected by a woman.  I am frequently rejected by women, but it takes a very special woman to be open and honest about it.  It shows true character.  It shows that she loves people, including the one that she isn't interested in dating.  Why more women can't be as incredibly mature as she is I will never know.  But this one is special, and whoever gets to marry her will certainly be a blessed man.

She wants to like me, the same way I want to love her.  I already like her.  I wish there was that connection. There's not, and that's okay.  Months ago this would have been a heart-wrenching experience for me.  I would be depressed, crying, and lamenting how I completely screwed up.  But I'm not.  I'm a good man. She actually helped me see this tonight.  Here are five things she said about me.

1. She loves how honest I am.
2. She loves my personality and says that I'm fun to be around.
• Regarding this, she said that our first date was the best date she's ever been on.  Or did she say it was the most fun?  It was both?  Regardless, it was the best of something.  She genuinely wanted something to happen with us.  But it didn't .  She has her reasons, and I understand.  She is a special woman.
3. She loves how motivated I am.
4. She loves that I center my life around Christ.  She loves that I'm willing to put Him first and that I desire to serve Him.
5. She loves that I'm not scared to show who I am.  She loves that I can make myself vulnerable.

What an amazing woman.

She sees a lot of good in me.  I didn't think that anyone saw that kind of good in me.  I always felt like my goodness was a secret that only I knew (and even doubted at times).  How did I become so privileged to meet such a woman as her?  And that she is actually a friend now?

During this whole long talk (and it was very long), I never once felt like she wasn't being genuine.  She wasn't "letting me down gently."  She was being honest.  She wanted something to happen, but it wasn't there.  I know why it wasn't there.  That's fine.  I do sincerely regret that she is not my girlfriend tonight, but I do not lament.  I do not pine.  I am as fine today as I was before we even went on our first date.  I feel fine.

I wish that every rejection could be as good as this one.  I have not gone away feeling badly about myself.  I have come away feeling good about myself.  There is a twist of disappointment, but it's hardly present.  My next love is just around the corner.  And to be honest, it wasn't necessarily that she was "rejecting" me.  It was more of a "this is why things aren't happening yet" discussion.  If that yet is a never; big deal.  I made a true friend tonight and I caught a glimpse of a beautiful soul.  This experience has helped me to see what I want in a woman.  I want to marry a woman who is as deep and as thoughtful as this one is.  I used to think that they were more scarce than crude oil in the year 2099, but I don't think that's the case.  I can find a woman like this again.  It is unique for her to be such a good woman, and these women are hard to come by, but I'm understanding that a depth of soul like hers is not so rare that I will never see it again.  This woman is certainly one-of-a-kind, never to be duplicated or imitated, but good women like her exist.  I can't wait to meet the next one.

The week is finally over

Hell week is finally over and I am very happy.  However, people keep saying "now the real work begins."  If this wasn't real work, then I don't agree with people's definitions of "work."  I don't think it's going to be that bad.  This program is designed for people to be able to accomplish it.  I think it's ridiculous that people are trying to intimidate us as students.  Shouldn't this be a supportive program?  I don't get it.

Speaking of things that bug me, I'm really getting sick of the term "in the real world..."  I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.  Have you ever considered that this "real world" that everyone speaks of doesn't exist?  Or perhaps that this "real world" that everyone keeps talking about is not the "real world" at all?  Maybe it's the opposite!

I've been hearing about this "real world" garbage since high school, and guess what?  It's a lie.  I worked in the real world between my bachelor and my master's degree.  It wasn't at all like the "real world" that people describe.  I suppose if I were some kind of idiot, I'd refer to something outside of my life as the "real world."  But this world is as real as anything else on this planet.  Things like ridiculous etiquette rules when eating really don't apply to life.  Anyone who would deny you a job or would be offended if you used your salad fork for your entree is a real jackass.  I'm tired of arrogance.  This is why I got out of business in the first place.

I suppose I should just be happy that my path isn't exactly just in business.  I plan to work hard and get somewhere, but I don't intend to be a CEO.  I don't intend to be in the board room.  I don't want those things.  I want to make a good living, live in a nice house, and be able to provide for my wife and family.

So how about we all just pull our heads out of our butts and live in the real world already?  Place your silverware wherever you like during a meal.  Just don't be obnoxious and let that be acceptable.  Drink from the wrong glass.  Forget to place your napkin on your lap.  Wear a tie with a short-sleeved shirt.  Life is too short to give a crap about any of these things.  Get over yourself and live in the real world since it's what you tout anyway.

I think I have a bad attitude

This week shouldn't be called "orientation week," it should be called "hell week."  The days are long, the activities are transparent in their purpose, and the classes are held at times when we're all tired, worn out, and can no longer pay attention.  I'd really like to just get going on school work.

I wore the wrong clothing today to the lunch.  They said "business casual," so I wore a short-sleeved button-up shirt with slacks.  I guess I was under-dressed.  I'm just so tired of doing this week so far that I can't even fake a smile on my face.

I'm reminded why I stopped studying business in the first place: it's the people.  Of course, I dislike psychology people too after having gone through a semester of a psychology grad school.  I just find that a lot of people in my program are overbearing, arrogant, or just plain irritating.

While the above feelings still hold true, my mood is much better now than it was when I originally wrote the text above (about three hours ago).

I'm happier now because I called a cute girl, relaxed for an hour or so, and talked to a friend.  I met with some local professionals tonight and some of them were just fantastic.  One man in particular was my favorite and I'm eager to be in contact with him.  I actually made some good contacts tonight!  And after hearing some of the professionals speak, my anxiety has been reduced.

I consider any reduction in my anxiety to be done by God and only by Him.  This week has really been a rollercoaster for my emotions.  I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down....  I want to end this week up.  I want to end this YEAR up.

My time on a trail

I don't mean to sound horribly judgmental, but I sat behind a total douche today.  I was on a bus going into the canyon for a service project required by my grad program.  Required service baffles me, but whatever.  The guy I sat behind is a return missionary,  must be at least 23 years old, and acts and talks like he's 19 or younger.  I can't believe how he talked about women and made an off-color reference to male genitalia and the name of farm fowl.  He's not married, and I can see why.  I still question why I'm not married though.

During this service project, my professor offered us an opportunity to take a walk around the lake.  The lake area was beautiful.  No one else in my service group wanted to go with me (and thankfully McDouche didn't want to go), so I went by myself.  There wasn't much for me to do, anyway.

I'm so grateful for the silence and peace that was afforded to me as I walked.  You could only hear slight rustling from the breeze and the occasional  rustling of foliage from the movement of field mice and what appeared to be small squirrels.  It was so peaceful that I decided to stop and sit on a rock to pray.  As I prayed, I remember the breeze picking up.  When I stopped praying, I don't remember there being a breeze anymore.  I wonder if God was demonstrating to me that He was listening?  I prayed for comfort, I think.  I also asked Him why I haven't been able to find someone to date and eventually marry me.  I finished my prayer and continued my walk.  As I walked, I tried to keep my mind clear and just focus on the silence and serenity of being alone while walking around a lake.  I did this so I could hear when God gave me an answer.  I'm unsure if I received a direct answer from Him, but I was reminded that I think that my next girlfriend and my potential wife is right around the corner.  I'm going to meet her soon.  I've met many people lately, and maybe she is one of them.  I don't know.  But I do know who I'm interested in.  I don't think of any of the women I date as a potential wife just yet.  I just want to know if I like them and I hope that they like me!  The wife thing can wait...I mean it's not like I can just meet someone and decide "okay, she's my wife."  That's strange, irrational, and unhealthy.

Here are some pictures of the gorgeous nature that I saw.

This shot is particularly great.  This photo is property of me, please do not use without permission.

Beautiful, isn't it?  I can't believe I've been missing this all my life.

Product Review: Pizzazz Pizza Oven by Presto

When I first saw the Pizzazz Pizza Oven, I thought it was kind of stupid.  I thought it was just another weirdo kitchen appliance that would be fun for a while, but would soon find its way to the donation bin at the local thrift store.  How wrong I was!  Little did I know when I finally came into owning one of these that it would become the centerpiece of my weekly cooking.

The product is designed to be space-saving in order to take up as little real estate as possible on your counter or in the cupboard.  The unit consists of a somewhat triangular cooking element with a large, round pizza pan.  The round pan rotates both above and below heating elements in order to evenly cook the pizza.  The top heating element heats at 350F and the bottom one heats at 400F.  There is a control to set both elements, or just the top or the bottom individually.  This way you can heat your toppings for longer (handy if you really pile on the toppings), or you can get your crust crispier.

When cooking, two things are crucial.  The first is that you MUST set the built-in timer otherwise the oven will not heat up.  The timer controls whether the oven is on or off, so you have to set it regardless of whether you want to use it.  This also controls the cooking so that you don't forget about your food.  It's really a good thing in the end.

The other crucial thing is that you need to set which elements you want to heat.  I rarely change this setting (and I'll tell you why later) because I've seen the consequences.  Unless you need one part of your pizza cooked more than the other, make sure the oven is always set to the "both" setting.

This product is fantastic.  I don't just cook pizza on it, I also cook frozen chicken strips and frozen fries on it.  One particularly creative thing I started doing is making toasted sandwiches using this oven.  You just butter your bread a little bit, pile on the cheese, meat, vegetables, or whatever you like and cook it open-faced.  Once the inside is hot, you can close the sandwich and let it toast for a while longer.  This pizza oven makes THE BEST grilled cheese sandwiches.

One mistake I've made a few times is forgetting to set the oven to heat with both elements.  Sometimes I've put chicken on the oven and cooked it for 25 minutes, only to find it cold, soggy, and raw on the inside.  I don't have to tell you not to eat raw chicken.  There are other cooking tips that I have for you when using this pizza oven.

If you're counting on cooking a large Papa Murphy's pizza on this, it won't fit.  Sorry.  But you can probably do a smaller pizza or some cheese bread.  When you go to cook a fresh pizza that you're making yourself, it's best to pre-bake the dough a little bit.  It will make it so your pizza finishes all at the same time.  Just place the crust on the pan and let it cook for about eight minutes or so, then pile on the toppings and let the pizza bake the rest of the way.

Like I said, I love this product.  It's easily worth the $50 or so that it costs.  You can bake just about anything on it and it's easy to use.  Baking a frozen pizza on it turns a so-so pizza into a great pizza!  I don't know what it is, specifically, that makes the pizza better, but I think it's that everything is heated to the correct temperature.  The crust comes out crispy and the toppings come out all melted and baked to perfection.

You can find this in some grocery stores, stores that sell kitchen appliances, or online.  Check it out if you want to make baking frozen (or fresh) pizza or other foods in the summer a more tolerable experience.  If you have some kids and you don't want them to use the oven, this is a good option.  It turns the heat elements off by itself, so you don't have to worry about the kids heating the whole house or running up the gas bill.

Like pretty well all product photos on this blog, this image does not belong to me.

A hard day so far

I know that God loves me.  And I know that through Him, I will achieve the things that I need to achieve.  I do not question His existence because I know that He's there.

I am happy.  I am happy because so many good things have happened to me lately.   I don't want a hard day to stop me now.

Today I spent nine hours in orientation for my graduate program.  Tomorrow I will spend nine or more hours doing the same thing.  And then I'll spend more than nine hours each day for the rest of the week.  It was hard to sit through.

Since yesterday, I've been experiencing anxiety regarding my grad program.  I'm concerned that I won't be able to keep up.  I worry that I won't be able to do it.  But I'm supposed to be able to achieve the level of education that I desire.  If this is the case, then I have no need to fear.  So why do I fear?

These problems feel like they come in twos, which is accurate because I'm feeling stress about relationships.  Like things will be going fine and then you just do something to mess it up.  I think I'm thinking too much.  I'm reading way too much into things.

Tonight is a welcome night at school.  It started fifteen minutes ago.  I have homework.  I don't know what to do.  I want to go and meet new people, but I need to do my work.  I also need dinner.  Why does life have to present problems sometimes?  I know that people say that my problems are nothing compared to the problems of people in the slums of India or something, but that's an ignorant and insensitive thing to say.  I have my problems, they have theirs.  It still doesn't change the fact that they are problems.   I crave love, support, and intimacy; they might crave food, shelter, and security.  I'm grateful for the food, shelter, and security that I enjoy, and I'm sure they are too.  But when you have your basic needs covered, you have other problems that crop up.  These are mine.  I want love, intimacy, and support in my life.

Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana soup

Do you like The Olive Garden?  It's about the fanciest joint I go to.  You know, because I'm super high class and stuff.  When I go, I like to wear cut-off denim shorts and a mesh tank top because I want to look as classy as I feel.

Really though, I like to go to the Olive Garden and eat their delicious Zuppa Toscana soup.  So when I came across a recipe online for the soup in question, I sprang on it.  You can find the actual recipe here at Tuscan Recipes, but below you'll read my instructions for making it a little better and in the Crock-pot.

The ingredients are:

1lb. ground Italian sausage (or regular sausage if you don't want too much of a kick)

1.5 tsp of crushed red pepper

Onion powder

Bacon bits

2 tsp of garlic puree (or some garlic powder - both are good options)

10 cups of water

5 chicken bullion cubes (you can find this in the Mexican food section if you're having trouble finding it)

1 cup of heavy whipping cream (kept near the milk)

1 or so lb of potatoes (see instructions for how to prepare them)

Kale (as much as you'd like, but at least 1/4 of a bunch...however much that is)

1. Brown the sausage in a frying pan and get it cooked at least most of the way through (I prefer to have it all the way cooked).

2. Put ten cups of water into a six-quart Crock-Pot (you can probably go as low as four-quart) along with the five bullion cubes.  You can stir it all around as it heats, but due to the property of diffusion, it will slowly mix on its own during the cooking process.  I still recommend giving it a stir.

3. Take all the potatoes that you plan on adding and wash and peel them.  Rinse them again after peeling, and then take out your cutting board and a large, sharp knife.   Here you have a choice: you can thinly slice the potatoes into circles, or you can cut the potatoes in half before slicing the potatoes into semicircles.  Alternatively, you can dice the potatoes.  You just don't want round slices to be too thick.  This soup values thin slicing.

4.  Add the potatoes, the cream, and all of the ingredients except for the kale.  Stir it all together, then heat on low for about six hours.  You can kind of wing it on this step.  This is the beauty of a slow-cooker.  You can just kind of wing it most of the time!

5.  About an hour before you're ready to serve the soup, wash and cut the kale and then add it to the soup.  Again, you can kind of wing it here.  I can't recall whether I added the kale late the last time I made this soup, but what I do know is that it worked.

If you're going to make this soup for just one person, you need to halve the recipe.  You'll be eating it for a week that way.  I recommend that you make this soup and serve it to your family, roommates, or neighbors.  It makes a TON, so if you live around a bunch of people you like, share the wealth.

Because I encourage single men to pay attention to my blog and its recipes, I recommend getting some roommates or friends together and then invite some women over to eat this soup with you.   If you make some breadsticks (which I may just post a roll recipe soon) and serve them on the side, you'll have kind of a half meal.  You could serve this soup with grilled cheese, salad, or something else that women like.  Believe it or not, women LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches, given they're not lactose intolerant.

By the way, if you don't own a Crock-pot yet, go buy one!  You can find them at thrift stores for cheap, or at a place like Sam's Club for as little as $35 for a super nice one!  Here's a picture of the Crock-pot I own.

I loves me some Amazon Prime

I need to write a piece on how much I love Amazon Prime.  I promise, I'm not being compensated for what I say (especially because part of it will be slightly negative).

A couple of years ago, one of my roommates told me about Amazon Student.  He told me that it was essentially Amazon Prime service, but free for students for one year.  Because I order stuff from Amazon somewhat frequently, I thought that free 2-day shipping for a year would be AWESOME!  So I signed up for my free trial, and I liked it so much that I continued using the service for half-price (because I am a student).

Amazon Student now only has a six-month free trial, but six is better than none.  It entitles you to free 2-day shipping on nearly everything Amazon sells, as well as some things that other people sell that is "fulfilled by Amazon."  After the six-month trial, you have the option to continue receiving free 2-day shipping for $39 per year, which is a savings of $40!  In addition to the 2-day shipping benefits, you also get unlimited Amazon Prime video streaming.

Amazon Prime has a lot of television shows and movies that you are able to stream to Kindle Fire, smart Blu-ray players, smart TVs, Roku, iPad, iPod, iPhone, Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Wii, and Wii U.   This means that you can stream movies just about anywhere, and if you're at home, you can watch on the big screen.  Some months they get bonus movies for you to watch that are not normally in the Prime collection. For example, this month has a bunch of James Bond movies available to stream for free!

I love the television and movie selection of Amazon Prime, but it doesn't have everything that your Hulu Plus or Netflix subscription has.  Additional shows can be rented or purchased, but those options aren't exactly free.  I sometimes feel like the selection is lacking, but I can usually find something good to watch.  I just honestly wish it had a more robust selection.

Something else I dislike about Amazon Prime Instant Video is that you cannot watch on any Android devices other than Kindle Fire and Kindle Fire HD.  If you own one of those devices, great!  But you still can't watch on your Android phone.
Also, browsing shows and movies on an Xbox 360 really only gives you part of the story.  You cannot search very well because it lacks a decent method of text input.  Browsing for shows and movies on the Amazon website is a little better, but it's missing some filter features that would really help.  I would like to be able to filter my browsing by MPAA rating (so I can search for all PG-13 action movies or something like that).  I would also be able to be able to see more genres and sub-genres when browsing.  I'd like to be able to ignore children's television shows and movies while browsing as well.

While it's not perfect, I'm still a big fan of Amazon Prime.  I order lots of stuff from Amazon now.  For instance, I had a date last night and I needed a table cloth.  I had realized this on Tuesday, so I ordered a tablecloth for under $9 and had it shipped to my door just in time for the date.  How about that?  I also get my text books, pens, videogames, movies, books, car parts, and just about anything else I desire in two days.

If you're hesitant about Amazon Prime, try the six-month free trial!  You can't go wrong - IT'S FREE.

Product Review: Pilgrim's Chicken Tenders

I have a deep love for deep-fried foods.  I have a regular love for regular fried foods.  I have a steamy passion for steamed foods.  And I feel all bubbly around soda.

Enough jokes for now, on to the review!

I love fast food, especially chicken tenders.  I remember going to Arctic Circle and eating chicken fingers and fries.  Before long, however, I realized that their prices were far too high and I just didn't think that it was worth paying $5 for three chicken tenders and a few fries.  That's when I discovered Pilgrim's Chicken Breast Strips in a 5 lb. box at Sam's Club.

These are very much restaurant-quality chicken strips.  Whether you fry them or you bake them, you'll get that authentic restaurant taste.  The breading is crispy and just the right thickness.  The all-white meat strips stay moist and tender even after baking.   Because they are frozen raw, you cannot microwave these strips safely (and you wouldn't want to anyway).

The portion sizes are generous, though you'll get strips that run the gamut between very large and bite-sized.  Two strips would be enough for an adult or a child, but I typically eat three or four strips.  If you serve these strips with fries, green beans, broccoli fries, or a green salad, you'll have a filling and delicious meal.  In fact, I highly recommend you try cutting these up and putting them on a delicious spinach salad with a thousand island dressing or ranch dressing.

I know that my reviews are a little on the sparse side as far as content goes, but it's really not the main draw of my blog.  I just want to spread the word about good products.  This is one of them.  Check out the link above for details about the chicken strips, and then go to Sam's Club, Wal-mart, or wherever else these are sold and pick some up for dinner tonight.  You really won't be disappointed.

Last year

About eleven months ago I found myself in a predicament.  Two great women wanted to date me.  I had met the one online and then other in person.  I wasn't particularly attracted to either of them when I met them, but I soon found myself interested in both women.  The one lived about four hours away from me, and then other lived about five minutes from me.  By proximity alone, my choice was clear.  But it wasn't that simple.

I liked the personality of the one that lived far away.  She was nice, had a good sense of humor, and she accepted me for who I was then (I am different now, after all).  However, she lived far away, her roommates sure didn't seem to like me, and even after I would tell her that I needed some quiet time to study, she would text me like mad.  We spent a very stressful day together, and I was at a difficult time in my life, and so I had to end it.

The one that lived close by grew on me very quickly.  There wasn't really a growth period.  I just liked her after our first date and couldn't get her out of my head.  However, she was 19 years old when we met and I was 24.  She turned 20 shortly thereafter and I turned 25 several weeks later.  The age difference kind of threw me at first, but I got over it.  But what really scared me is that at the age of 25, I felt ready to get married.  I was tired of waiting.  I'm more patient now, but it is still a high priority.  I knew that her, being 20, probably wasn't ready to get married.  My mom got married around the age of 20.  My sister got married at 17 (not that I think that's a good idea at all)!  But this one is not like my mom or my sister.  To make matters worse, I was her first boyfriend.  I knew that no matter how much I would come to love her, she would not want to marry her first boyfriend.

I came to love her very much.  Several months into the relationship, despite the very few flaws that I could see, I knew that I wanted to marry her.  She is gorgeous.  She loves God and she loves church.  She is so smart.  We'd have playful arguments over who was smarter.  I contended that she was smarter, she said that I was smarter.  I still think I'm right.  She's funny.  She made me laugh so much!

Some cracks in the relationship began to appear when she began to say things and act as though my mission was not good enough for her.  She knew that I suffered from anxiety in the past and was absolutely paranoid that it would keep me from doing things with her in the future.  Her parents thought that they would never get to see her again if she married me because I had anxiety.  It baffles me how otherwise intelligent people could be so incredibly ignorant of a mild mental illness that I hardly feel the effects of anymore.  I'd like to say that it's completely gone, but you can never be sure of that.  God really blessed me after my mission and one of those blessings was relieving my anxiety.  Life is just...easier.  And it's all thanks to Him.

After six months (she says five, I say six), she stopped responding to my texts.  She wouldn't pick up the phone when I called.  I cried every single day for three weeks, even on the rare day she would talk to me.  At the end of those three weeks, she dumped me.  It was a very sweet breakup.  I've never had a breakup where I'm holding her hand and we kiss a few times because we're still very much in love.  But, much like she predicted, it was harder on me than it was on her.

I'm moving on now.  It has been long enough.   But the predicament of being involved with two women at the same time is still a tough situation for a man like me to face.  I mean, I only want one woman in my life (and it's all I can handle)  More than one woman being interested in me at a time just causes confusion and slows down the dating process.  I hate having to hurt one just to have a relationship.  It would be easier if you could just pause the feelings with one and date the other, only to resume the first relationship later if things didn't work out.

In my book, no woman I could date would be a "silver medal."  When I'm in love, I'm in love.  If, somehow, a relationship didn't work out with one and I was able to date the other, she wouldn't be lesser to me.  I know that she would probably feel that way, but in my heart she wouldn't be.  I know that I would feel secondary to another man if I were in the same situation as these women.  I don't know why love needs to be so complicated.

Procrastination, failed hot dog buns, and the value of money

I need to study for a final.  Like, really bad.  Well, not really bad, but it needs to be done.  You know how it is.  So I've been procrastinating by making hot dog buns, watching Zonation on YouTube, and generally sitting around.

My hot dog buns didn't turn out at all.  They were flat and would not be suitable for hot dogs at all.  On the plus side, they were delicious.  I guess I need to just buy hot dog buns and bake rolls instead.  I think I may do that, actually.  I don't want to buy bread because I feel like it's a lot of money for just a loaf of bread that will go moldy in a few days.  I'd much rather invest an hour or so on a Saturday to bake rolls or other generalized bread for much less money.  Consider this: I can get 5lb. bag of flour for less than $2, eggs for less than $2, sugar, oil, etc. for less than $4.  When I combine these ingredients, I can bake several loaves of bread, all coming in for less than $1 each.  That's a heck of a deal.  I just have to put in the work for it.

My friend Bif doesn't think that it's worth his time to pick up a penny off the ground.  He says that his time is more valuable than that.  But if it takes two seconds to pick up a penny from the ground, you could be picking up thirty pennies per minute.  $.30 * 60 minutes is eighteen dollars an hour.  $18/hour.  I'm sure if he were offered a job for $18/hour, he'd take it.  I have family members that make less than $18/hour.   Considering this, it is very much worth it to pick up a penny from the ground.

I don't think there will ever be a day where it is not worth my time to pick up a penny from the ground.  How would I lose money by picking up a penny?  That doesn't make any sense.  Especially considering that when I'm finding money, I'm not "on the clock."  And if I were, I wouldn't lose money by picking up that penny.  I'd still be $.01 richer.  You may think that one cent isn't going to make a difference, but it does.  Have you ever been a few cents short for a purchase?  I know that I have.  Picking up change, no matter what the value, always adds money to my wallet.

I think it's incredibly narcissistic to pass up the opportunity to pick up money.  Saying that your time is worth more than picking up a penny is prideful and likely inaccurate.  I notice that poor people typically have this attitude.  Not all poor people.  People who are humble and poor don't have that attitude.  They value money.  Rich people who have had to work for their fortune also value money.  The path to wealth isn't in pride; it's in hard work.

Green beans

Today I am baking rolls.  I would love to post the recipe, but it belongs to a neighbor and I don't think I should share her recipe without permission.  It's the same reason why I don't share my mom's pretzel dough recipe.  What I will share is the way I last made green beans.

Really quickly, here's how to dress up your green beans and make them taste like they're from a restaurant.

Take some frozen or fresh green beans and steam them in the microwave.  Barring that, just boil them for a little bit.
Put on a pat of real butter (not margarine!) and coat the beans.
Throw on some garlic powder.
Put on some salt.
Serve hot.

Dude, just go for it

I have some friends who are just too afraid to go for it.  Or something like that.  My friend Bif is a great example (again, that's not his real name to protect his privacy).  Bif has this nasty habit of meeting and befriending women, spending a lot of time with them doing date-like activities, seeing them nearly every day, and never once does he use the word "date" with them.  He'll say it to me, but he won't say it to them.  I think they know that he's interested in them, but they get off on the technicality of their activities not being dates.  If it's not a date, then they don't have to reject him, right?

Holy cow.  Maybe he knows that.

Anyway, after spending all of this time and money with these women, he says the same thing to me.  "I'm going to make a move."  And I always reply "okay, what's your move?"  And he responds "I'm going to ask her on a date."

"That's not a move, Bif."

"How is that not a move?"

"Because for it to be a move, you have to move!"

So he asks them on a date, and then the jig is up.  They either say no, or they go on a date with him (typically to get a free meal or something, because they already know going into this date whether they like him) and then reject him.  So what's his problem?  Well, many things, but mainly that he doesn't go for it.

He was constantly asking me why it was that I had more girlfriends than him.  His reasoning was that I hadn't gone on a mission and was therefore not as good as him, so he should be getting the women and I should be left alone like him.  I recall one evening where he said that he was better than me because he had served a mission.  Looking back, I must have had the patience of a monk not to freak out on him.  But the difference between him and I was not that I hadn't served a mission and he had; it was that I went for it and he didn't.

I kissed my last two girlfriends by the end of our second dates.  How did I do it?  Well, I went for it.  I even prefaced one of the kisses with "A______, I'm having a hard time controlling myself.  I really want to kiss you."  Yeah, I know.  But she was receptive and we kissed.  It was the first of many kisses with her.  Bif could be in the same position if he would just go for it.  But first he needs to ask her on a date.  None of this "let's spend time together until the steam runs out and then I'll ask you on a date."  Just straight-up ask her on a date.  If she is actively texting you afterward, it probably means she likes you.  The second "date" is up to you.  Either make it a formal date (something I haven't done with success), or just get together.  If she's interested in you, you'll be drawn together.  And it is her responsibility to show interest in you.  If she's not showing interest, then she must not like you.  That's how it goes.

So, Bif, and the two other friends I'm thinking of.  Just go for it.  Hold her hand.  Hold that hug just a second or two longer than normal (just a second or two).  If she's receptive, you can progress.  If she's not, you'll likely talk about it briefly, and then part ways.  She shows interest in you, you ask her out, she continues to show interest, you make a move, and love blossoms.  If you're not asking her out quickly enough and/or you are not making a move quickly enough, then you risk losing her.  She'll quickly lose interest.  She'll be confused about whether you like her.  If you give it a try by holding her hand or something, then you'll be able to see very quickly if there's something there.  It comes with tons and tons of rejection (I can't count the number of times I've been rejected, but it is WAY more times than I've had success), but you get a relationship eventually.

Hm.  How many times have I been rejected in relation to my successes?  Rejection = Success⁹. That sounds about right.

Alright.  I did the math.  It's closer to R = S⁶. Still, you'll get a lot of rejection.  But if you just go for it, you'll experience faster lows and greater highs.  The faster you can tell that a woman isn't interested in you, the faster you can move on to the next one.  Minimize wasted time, maximize love.

Dinner with friends.

I got a text tonight around 5:30 PM inviting me to dinner at Village Inn.  I didn't know who it was from, but I readily accepted before asking who it was.  I figure that it must be someone I know, right?

It turns out that it was someone I know and she wanted me to go with her and some friends to Village Inn.  Before going though, they had a Facebook intervention with me.  The right people were trying to convince me to join though.  Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't have listened at all.  They want me on Facebook so I can be in the loop and so I no longer feel like I don't have friends.  I will not say whether I joined back up, but what I can say are the following things:

1. Screw Facebook.
2. My official stance is that I do not have a Facebook page.

After the intervention, we departed in my car for Village Inn (that's three times I've said the name of the restaurant now...do you think they'll give me a free meal?).  As I pulled into the restaurant, I remembered a friend who had his birthday yesterday (technically two days ago, but I'm posting this just after midnight and I contend that the day doesn't start until 6 AM, just like in Jesus' day) and nobody was able to make it to his birthday dinner.  Poor guy!  I was busy, I swear!  So I called him and he came.  I told the others that it was his birthday and that no one was able to make it to dine with him, and so they ran across the street to Walmart to get a birthday cake for him.

They bought this really fun cake.  It had delicious vanilla buttercream frosting (which is a project I intend to take up one of these days) on the outside, and four colors of cake inside.  It all tasted like yellow cake, but there was bright yellow, blue, red, and purple cake with marble-like swirls.  It was cool!  I ate far too much in one sitting though.  Not cake; I only had one piece.  I got fish and chips for dinner, which included soup, toast, fries, and more fries (because that was my other side).  I had five pieces of cod, all the fries, all of the clam chowder (I made it a seafood night), one half of the toast, and then that piece of cake.  Oh, I also ate one more piece of cod because my friend got the all-you-can-eat meal (it was only $1.30 more) and didn't finish all of his fish.  I can tell you this: all the guys (except for JMcG) had their bellies sticking out by the end of the night!

Speaking of bellies, I think mine is coming along, but I need to control my diet more.  Today I did some high-intensity interval training on the elliptical because I read that it burns fat better than just maintaining a heart rate for an extended amount of time.  I'm not sure why that is, but I'll take it.  I'm going to continue this type of training for a while to see if there's an impact.

As for the diet, I really need to change something.  First off, I eat WAY too much chicken.  Why did God have to make chicken so delicious?  Why couldn't He make soy beans that delicious?  I like green beans, but I sometimes lack the motivation to make them...even though making fried chicken takes way more effort.

I honestly don't eat a lot of sweets and I have been limiting my soda intake.  I guess I'll pay attention to what I eat tomorrow and then see which changes I can easily make.  It really only takes small steps at a time.  Green beans here, a handful of carrots there...   I should go back to what I used to eat for breakfast, which was a banana, string cheese, and...something else.  Maybe nothing else?  I should eat oatmeal, a banana, and some string cheese for breakfast tomorrow.  Tomorrow and every day, that is.  I feel like if I can work off my soda intake in a given day, then it can kind of cancel out.  But I do remember when I lost a bunch of weight at a time, and it was because I worked out and drank Crystal Light instead of soda.  I'm going to set aside a "no-soda" day this week.  Perhaps Monday or Wednesday.  One is better than none, right?

Time to slay this beast of a belly I have.

Goal achieved for this week

I achieved one of my goals this week.  It's my weekly goal of meeting two new people, with at least one being a woman.  Truly I want to meet two women per week, but one is just enough.

Yesterday, I received a call during choir practice, which I readily took even though there was still time left in practice.  Two hours for choir practice with a maniacal choir director is far too long, so taking a call was relieving.  While I was talking on the phone, I looked through a window and into another window where I could see a woman practicing the piano.  Because I had been coughed on a good dozen times by the people sitting around me, I ventured into the room where she was practicing after my phone call to search for hand sanitizer to bathe in.

I talked with her and found out that she had been practicing for six hours because she was nervous to play the piano in front of her ward.  I thought she was playing very well, but she was dissatisfied.  So I grabbed a Hymn book and sang along with her.  I sat with her for about a half-hour or so, singing, listening, and encouraging.

I was going to get ice cream afterward and I invited her to come along.  She said that she was watching a scary movie with friends.  That was fun to hear because I like scary movies too!  So we talked about that for a little bit.  As I got up to leave, she said "I guess I'll see you around then," which I took to mean "thanks for hanging out with me.  Maybe I'll see you another time."  So I didn't ask for her phone number.  I may have been able to get it, but I didn't want to push it.  It seemed like she had stuff to do and people to see.

When I went to get ice cream, I saw a woman that I hadn't yet met.  So I sat across from her and introduced myself.  We talked and laughed with the other people at the table.  I asked her about what she does and we just had a nice time.  No number again.  I didn't go for this number just because I didn't think I'd get along with her.  Besides, I really don't need to get the contact information of everyone I encounter.  I just want to get contact info from a special woman.

If I decide I want to see the first woman again, I know where she'll be.  She'll be in the same spot practicing the piano again tonight.  I also know which ward she's in because I asked her.  I don't nee to see her though.  I just want to meet some new people, find a group of friends (or a steady few that have a dynamic group of friends), and find a woman to date.

I feel as though I have a lot of love to give, but I don't feel this love for everyone.  It's like I hoard it until I get into a relationship, where it then just flows like a spout at the bottom of a dam.   I guess I need to love others along the way.  I don't know.  I think I'm going to go to a nearby bookstore and see if I can figure it all out.

Friendships

I went to choir again tonight.  I kind of don't understand why I'm going.   I want to use my talent, but I hate sitting in choir practice for two hours having a blowhard talk about how poorly everyone in your section sings.  Okay, it's not really like that, but I don't understand sitting in choir practice for two hours.  It sucks.  Why is anybody volunteering for it?

Honestly, I just want to meet women there.  There are certainly some pretty women who are there singing.  I don't know how to approach them though.  It's kind of strange just being like "hi, I saw you from across the room and wanted to meet you."  How exactly do people meet?  I think I ask the same question regarding making friends.  How do people make friends?  Perhaps friendship, like love, is best pursued indirectly?  I don't know.

I know that the more I think like this the worse off I'll be.  If  I think about how I don't have a steady group of friends or how I don't know how to meet people, it will just get worse and worse until I move or something.  I guess I can keep fighting it.

I never thought I would be 25, unmarried, and without friends.

But no!  I have friends!  There's S- and R- and J- and R- and other R-!  And what about S-?  I have her too!  And Bif and Jen and Mel!  BJM kind of sounds like a weird sandwich!  [I had to edit this paragraph to read "Bif and Jen and Mel," but I previously had "B- and J- and M-," which makes the BJM joke make sense.]

I have friends.  I guess I just desire friends who call me or put on a surprise birthday party or something.  I want to feel loved.  I want friends that wave to me in church to come sit by them.  I feel like I've somehow carved out this niche of sitting alone and I can't escape from it.

I remember meeting this girl in my ward.  Let's call her J.  I met J and her roommate at an activity and we talked and seemed to hit it off.  We made tentative plans to get together and watch a movie sometime.  The main draw was that they said that they didn't have airconditioning and I do have airconditioning.  So a week goes by and nothing happens (of course I didn't get their phone numbers; it slips my mind sometimes).  I see them the next Sunday evening.  I had just baked bread earlier that day and we were all walking in the direction of my apartment.  I mentioned having them come over sometime and they still seemed excited and they asked where I live.  Since we were all headed that way, I just had them follow me and I pointed to my apartment.  Since I had baked fresh bread earlier that day and I was excited to share and show it off, I asked if they would like to have a piece.  They seemed hesitant, which I don't understand.  I invited them up, let them look around while I sliced some bread, talked to them for a little bit, and it just seemed so suddenly uncomfortable.  I don't get it.  After they left, I didn't hear from them again.  I think that J actively avoids me, which I don't understand.

Why is it that when I make an effort to make a friend, they seem to not want to be my friend?  I don't get it.  Did I miss that day in school where the teacher tells you the key to making friends?  I've worked really hard to overcome social and generalized anxiety (all thanks to God, really) and I want to make friends!  It just seems like it's something out of reach.  I don't want it to be, but it feels that way.

I think J is a nice girl.  She doesn't seem to have many friends (but she might, who knows?) and I've seen her sit by herself in church.

Years ago I made a friend in church.  Let's call her Jen, since I already used "J."  It was the first day of church and I was determined to turn over a new leaf this semester.  I had previously just hated everyone from the get-go, but I didn't want it to be that way.  So believe it or not, I was nice to people.  Actually, I guess people who know me and read this will probably know me to be generally nice, but it's been a long road.  I didn't used to be nice.

Anyway, it was the first or second meeting of church and I took my seat.  I was sitting alone and I turned to look and see who else was in the room.  I saw this woman sitting by herself.  She was overweight and didn't have a very happy look on her face, but I saw an attractive daughter of God sitting there.  I saw a stranger who was in the same predicament as me, so I turned and asked if I could sit with her.  I know I made her day.  How do I know?  Well, she developed a pretty strong crush on me.

Jen is and was a really sweet girl.  She had a rough life (divorce, suicide, poverty, etc.), but she still had all of this inner beauty and light...even if she was depressed.  She was such a good friend to me.  She still is!  I love her!  It was like she, Mel, and Bif (all not real names, by the way) were my best friends, even if Bif didn't like Jen and Mel didn't like Bif.  They tolerated each other for me.  Even when I wound up dating Jen's ex-roommate who didn't want me hanging around Jen, she still stuck by me.  She was still my friend before, during, and after.

I want close friends.  That's what I want.  Intimacy.  I want close, intimate relationships with other people around my age.  I want to share feelings and food.  I want to meet their friends.  I want them to introduce me to single women who might be interested in me.  I crave intimacy.  That's what I really want in life.

Product Review: NordicWare Microwave Popcorn Popper

New feature on my blog!   I'm going to review some products that I buy and those that I like (or don't like, I suppose...maybe I should review Boost Mobile).

Today's product is the NordicWare Microwave Popcorn Popper.

I came upon this popcorn popper on Amazon when I was looking at the price of unpopped popcorn.  My girlfriend at the time had introduced me to a way that you could pop popcorn in the microwave using a paper bag, two staples, and a little bit of oil.   While I liked this method, it was messy and I knew that I would have to continually buy paper bags.  I like to maximize the value of my money, so continually buying bags was not a path I wanted to continue down.  That's why the NordicWare Microwave Popcorn Popper struck a chord with me.

The concept of this bowl is simple: it's a microwave-safe, high-quality bowl designed for microwave cooking.  You place the popcorn seeds in the bottom, throw it in the microwave, and in two minutes you have fresh, hot popcorn without the use of oil!  I think the best part about this bowl is that popping corn this way is so much cheaper than buying microwave popcorn.  You also don't need to buy an extra device, such as an air popper or something else.  You can just pop the popcorn in the bowl, serve in the bowl, and that's it!

One downside of this popcorn popper is that it leaves many unpopped kernels left over.  I tried using oil with popping, I tried using a slightly lower power setting, and I can't figure out a way to get all of the kernels popped without burning the popcorn.

Another downside is that you need to wait for the bowl to cool before popping another batch, so if you want a lot of popcorn, then you need to start early.  I suppose you could buy two bowls, or hold the hot bowl in front of the air conditioner (something that I've totally done) and wait for it to cool down.

If you're a popcorn fan and a fan of saving money, then you might want to check this out.  I recommend getting some Flavacol along with it so you can have a movie theater experience.  I had popcorn last night with a friend using this bowl and Flavacol and she said it was better than the theater!  I say it's better than the movie theater if only because you're not paying $6.00 per batch.

Making wise media choices

A little more than a year ago I wrote down five goals on a white board attached to my fridge.  I chose a white board over a blackboard because I'm a huge racist.  One of the goals I wrote down was "make wise media choices."  Of all five goals, this and praying in the morning are the most difficult.  Every now and then, I like to watch an episode of South Park.  Nearly every day, I like to listen to the Adam Carolla show.  These two programs can get pretty crass, but there's something I like about each of them.

With South Park, it's just good, pure satire.  I don't think satire gets any better than South Park.  I think that episodes of South Park are typically spot-on with their criticisms and examples.  I think it takes a brain to really enjoy the satire of South Park.  The only other shows to have this level of satire are early episodes of The Simpsons (seasons 1 through about 6), and the first three seasons of Family Guy (and only the first three seasons because anything after that is just garbage).  One thing about these three shows is that they can also be enjoyed on the lower level; that is, potty humor, cursing, and pop culture references that go nowhere (I'm looking at YOU, Family Guy).  So while some watch these shows just for a cheap laugh with cursing or whatever, I'm looking at the deeper meaning regarding politics and things like that.  That's what I enjoy about South Park.

With Adam Carolla, I like how he's smart.  He and I have the same philosophy when it comes to entertainment while at the gym or while doing manual labor.  He says "let's listen to smart people talking."  I agree completely.  That's one of the reasons why I love Prager University on YouTube.  However, sometimes Adam has guests that are just...depraved.  Some of them are just perverts.  I don't want to listen to a pervert talk about how many prostitutes he's been with.  I want to hear from a man who talks about how much he loves his wife and how he takes her with him whenever he goes out of town.  The show I listened to today had such a pervert on and I just couldn't listen anymore.  It's like: I don't need to have those thoughts running through my head.

So instead of listening to that, I listened to the music that was playing at the gym (which is usually trash, but was actually good today), and then I queued up scriptures on my phone.   That's what I listened to for the rest of my workout.  I can't say that I got much out of it, but at least it wasn't perversion.  I'd rather listen to a very dry chemistry lecture than hear some pervert talk about his sexual exploits.

I think with making wise media choices, you need to make the decision first about which variety of media you will consume.  So if I decide to watch a movie or a television show, I may want to watch Full House or The X-Files instead of Beverly Hills 90210.  Holy crap I'm old.  I think that I will continue to listen to Adam Carolla and I'll occasionally watch South Park, but I'm going to be more selective in the future.  After all, that's what program guides are for, right?

Easy and delicious oven fries

I seriously want some fries today.  I think you will too after I post this.

Ingredients:
Potatoes
Canola oil (or whichever cooking oil is your favorite)
Salt or other favorite seasoning

Wash and peel as many potatoes you like.  I find that you can fit up to seven medium-to-small potatoes on a standard cookie sheet so long as you cut the fries pretty thick.  Rinse the potatoes after peeling and then cut the potatoes into long strips as thick or as thin as you like.  If you cut them into about 1/8 inch thick, you get a nice fry that can get crisp on the outside and soft on the inside.

Some people like to get fancy here and rinse or soak the fries before cooking them.  I think it's suppose to make them more crispy, but I don't do it.

Take a gallon-size bag or a dish with a lid and dump all of the potatoes into it.  Then dump in some oil.  You need enough oil to be able to coat the fries, but you don't want too much oil.  Maybe up to three tablespoons depending on how many potatoes you use?  I don't know.  Seal and shake the bag to coat the potatoes, and then dump them on a greased cookie sheet.  You probably don't need to grease the cookie sheet, but sometimes these can stick if you don't allow them to cook for long enough.

Bake at 450F for about 35 minutes.  You'll know they're done when they're a little brown on top and brown around the edges.  The fries should be a little bit yellow in color.  The result will look something like this.

Look at those delicious fries.

If you pair this with some chicken or hamburgers you'll be able to have a restaurant-quality meal at a fraction of the price.  I have no need to go to a casual dining place to get a good burger and fries.  I can make them at home!

I love good food.

Gratitude

This month's Home Teaching message is on gratitude, which is perfect because that's what I intend to practice more this month!  So I taught the message to my girls and my guys (interesting how I don't say gals and guys, which are equivalent terms, or alternatively girls and boys), and then my home teachers came over to teach me.  Here's what I learned.

As my home teacher was teaching me, he said he wanted to ask me a question and he wanted me to give the first answer that came to my head.  He asked "how do you feel today?"  The first thing that came to my mind was "fine" and then "fat."  A minute or two later, he instructed me to write down five things I was grateful for that day (this last Sunday) and why I was grateful for those things.  I wrote down five things, one of which was air conditioning because it makes summer great.   After doing that, he asked me how I was feeling, and I felt happy!  What a change!

What happened was that I had counted my blessings, and as a result, I felt happier.  How about that?!  Because this month is on gratitude, I think I'm going to have a happier month!

Today

Today was a little different, but not too different from a normal Monday when I'm not in school or working.  I went to the gym, cooked, went to Family Home Evening, and sat on my couch for far too long.  What made this day different is mostly that I spent time with my friend.  She just moved out of her dorm and she's kind of floating until she goes to Russia.  She's staying in her sister's house just outside of town and needed a ride to campus in order to go to work.  So I drove her to work this morning and we had a nice opportunity to talk.  She's a really sweet woman.  I like women like her.  That is, women who are sensible, comfortable, pleasant, and is loving toward others.  I suppose I like men who are like that too.  But considering that I'm interested in dating women and I'm not interested in dating men, I'm more prone to discussing things that I like about women.

After dropping her off at work, I went to Taco Time to seek out a delicious crisp bean burrito.  I can't believe that they charge nearly $2 for one!  So I instead went to the grocery store and bought a few things to make myself tacos today.  That satisfied my desire.  I suppose I need to learn how to make a crisp bean burrito in the oven.  If I do it like my french fries (I'll post that sometime soon; it's super easy), then it might work.  I guess I'll look up a recipe sometime.  Anyway, the tacos were delicious.

I went to the gym right afterward because that was the best thing I could think of doing right after eating Mexican food.  Not brush my teeth, not wait a half-hour before moving again.  I went straight to the gym.  I've decided that I want to weigh 220 lb.  As I walked through the grocery store earlier, I felt like I was 220 lb.  I felt good!  So as I went to weigh myself at the gym, I set the scale to 220 lb., felt good about it, and then decided to see my progress.  I weighed 281 a few weeks ago, then 278 last week.  I skipped my workout Friday because of my date... and I weigh 281 this week again.  Granted, I had food and liquid in my stomach, but it was a little concerning.  I don't think I look bad, but I really am carrying too much weight.  Anyway, I did a WAY bigger workout today than I usually do.  I did a total of 48 minutes on the elliptical, going just under 4.5 miles and burning around 670 calories.  I then curled 50 lb. fifty times, and benched 105 lb. fifty times.  I had a lot of energy today!

And I feel like I should note that when I was 17, I weighed 260 lb., benched 255 lb., and could dead-lift around 515 lb.  I know I can do more weight than I am now, buy why?  I'm getting enough resistance and I'll increase my weights sometime soon.

I went home, did the dishes, and began preparing casserole for dinner.  Then I spent time with my friend (we watched Full House on DVD), went to Family Home Evening at the nearby assisted living facility, and then watched more Full House.  Then I gave her a lift back to her sister's house.  That was that.

A super easy casserole

I almost feel obligated to post a recipe because I think recipes are part of the draw for this blog.  I think that single men should pay special attention to the recipes I post here because women like a man that can make her a good meal.  Making a delicious meal is easier than I thought, but having a variety is a little more difficult.  Now I understand why my family would eat Hawaiian haystacks six Sundays in a row.  Although I still contend that one does not need to eat the same meal six Sundays in a row.

I call this "Chicken, Rice, and Peas."  Super clever.

Here's what you need:

Two cans of cream of chicken soup
One can of chicken (or a couple of chicken breasts chopped up and at least partially cooked)
12-16 ounces of frozen peas
1 lb. of regular white rice
Black pepper

The beauty of this recipe is twofold.  First, it's relatively inexpensive.  Second, it's super easy and delicious!  Maybe the beauty is threefold.  Whatever.  Here's how to prepare it.

Take a 9x13 casserole dish (cake pan) and spread the rice across the bottom.
Next, dump in both cans of soup with two cans of water (one can each).
Add the chicken, then kind of stir up the whole thing to get the ingredients blended.
Cover with aluminum foil and place in the oven at 450F for 30 minutes.
At the 30 minute mark, remove the casserole from the oven and give it a stir.  Add the peas and the pepper, cover with aluminum foil (the same piece will do), and place back in the oven for another 30 minutes.

I made this in anticipation of having dinner with a friend tonight.  I kind of like her, but I know that she has a lot of guys around her.  She's also going to Russia in two weeks, so it's not like much would work out.  I think I'll give this its own post.  Long story short: it was a good meal.  Although I don't think she was that into it.  They can't all be winners, right?  My last girlfriend liked this casserole though, so I'm not too worried about my audience.

Cell phone woes

Here's what I don't understand: cell phone carriers that provide poor service.  I wonder if they want my business or not.  Where shall I start?

I'm a graduate student, so money is tight.  If you're paying $25,000/year for schooling and there is no time for employment (it is graduate school, after all), and then you have to pay rent, food, internet, and your phone bill, things can get expensive fast.  Therefore, I've always tried to have the least expensive phone bill possible.  So I was with Tracfone, Net10, Virgin Mobile, and now Boost Mobile.  I had to ditch Virgin due to a lack of minutes and poor customer service, and even though Boost is the same company, they seemed to have better customer service, cooler phones, and (eventually) less expensive service.

Now that I've been on Boost for six months, I am really loving having unlimited minutes.  I like being able to talk with my family for hours at a time.  But ever since I got my Samsung Galaxy S II on Boost, I've had one problem where the phone will randomly turn off and then not turn back on again until I've removed and replaced the battery.  This gets very annoying and I'm tired of missing calls and emails, so I called Boost to get my phone replaced because it's still under warranty.

They wouldn't help me.

They told me that they cannot replace the phone, but that I would have to go through Samsung to get my phone repaired.  So I called Samsung (who seems to have excellent customer service) and they set up a repair.  It occurred to me: what will I do without my phone?  So I asked Samsung if they would send me a replacement in the interim, but they told me that I would have to go through Boost for that.  Upon calling Boost back, they said that they couldn't help me and all they could do is suspend my service for two weeks.

Show of hands, kids, who all can go without their cell phone for two weeks?  No one?  That's what I thought.  Maybe if I had a landline, but I don't.  It's times like these that I strongly wish I were giving out my Google Voice number instead of my actual cell number.  I think that's what I'll do for the future.  That way, I can get any phone in the interim and still have call forwarding service.  Perhaps I should pay the $20 to get my number transferred to Google Voice so I can just keep using my current number.

So why haven't I switched to someone else?  Well, mostly due to cost.  I wouldn't mind switching to T-mobile, but they've thus far screwed over my brother and his wife.  I'd like to get a family plan with them, but instead of just paying the difference between their current charges and the charges that would be with me added, they want me to pay half.  I understand "fairness" and all, but consider that he lives in my mom's five-bedroom, two-bathroom house with three family rooms, a laundry room, and a food storage room on a quarter-acre of property for $189/month.  I pay $550/month for a two-room (not bedrooms, literally two rooms) apartment that's about a sixth of the size of the house they live in.  You can always count on family right?

So while I try to minimize my debt and maximize my scholarships with grad school, he gets to live in a large house for less than what I pay for an apartment with a kitchen and a bedroom.

Back to my point: I don't understand cell phone carriers that give poor service.  If you want business, shouldn't you strive to be the best?  When you're the best, you can charge for being the best.  Even if you're no-contract, your service should be outstanding in order to attract customers.  When competitors see you rolling around in the dough, they'll be motivated to do the same.

I'm considering options for getting around this.  But if I had to recommend a cell phone carrier to anyone, I'd just tell them NOT to use Boost, Virgin, or Sprint at large.  That's too bad, too because I like Sprint.  If Cricket weren't such garbage, I'd consider them.  Maybe I should get an iPhone on Virgin and just be done with it.

Imperfection, the human condition, and acting as though

I am an imperfect man, but I have a perfect spirit.  Imperfection is an unfortunate part of the human condition!  However, without mortality and the imperfection that comes with it, we would be unable to learn and grow.  I think that sometimes people miss the point of mortality.  Of course we are saved by grace, but what have we done for that grace?  How have we shown our faith?  What is our attitude toward service, honestly, and charity?

Suddenly, I'm off the reason why I began to post this evening.  The reason for this post is to admit my fault (though my journal will get the details) and to state that I have not been acting as though I am receiving what I've asked for. I know I need to do this.  I'm going to place a reminder on my mirror because I truly need to "act as though."

So!  Gameplan!  I'm going to act as though I am already living the life that I want.  I'm only a hop, skip, and a jump away from it anyway!  With blessings and love from the Lord, I will be able to attain perfection through His grace.

Couscous with chicken

This isn't really a recipe; it's more of a meal idea.  My recent ex-girlfriend turned me on to Near East brand Couscous (she turned me on in a lot of other ways too).  You can find a 12-pack of my favorite variety, garlic and olive oil, on Amazon here.  You can also pick this up at Wal-mart for about $2/box.

It's really simple to make.  You just boil 1.25 cups of water and two tablespoons of oil with the spice packet.  I use canola oil even though you should use olive oil.  Once it comes to a boil, stir in the couscous and remove from the heat source.  Cover and let stand for five minutes, and then fluff with a fork.

Here's what I do to make it a meal.  I take a can of chicken that I usually get from Costco, drain the water, cut up the chunks a little, and then stir it in with the couscous.  This is really a good, quick meal for singles and it only costs about $4 in total.  You can have this once for dinner and then again for tomorrow's lunch.  Two meals for $2 apiece.  That's a deal.

Had a date this morning

Several days ago I went to a dance and I came home with two phone numbers.  The first phone number was from a beautiful woman that I was completely captivated by.  The other was from a woman that I didn't think was very pretty at all, but she seemed to be interested in spending time with me, so I asked for her phone number too.  Days later, I had sent text messages to each of them, but only one responded.  The one that responded was the one that I didn't find as attractive, but she was still friendly on the phone and via text, so I asked her on a date.

She suggested that we go on a hike, but I'm a bit of a wimpy hiker, so we went for a nature walk instead.  It was cool.  We walked close to four miles round trip and got a lot of talking in.  She is a really sweet girl.    After the walk, we went to Burger King for an ice cream cone and continued talking. By the end of the date, we really got to know each other better.  I took her back to her apartment and walked her to the door.  We hugged and that was about it.

I'm not interested in her as a dating partner and I don't think she's interested in me as a dating partner, but I think we both felt like we want to be friends.  I think I'm going to see if I can get together with her and some of her friends soon.  If they're as cool as she is, soon I should have some really good friends!

This is a successful date for me.  It used to be that I thought a successful date ended in a kiss or with a girlfriend, but that's not the only way a successful date can end.  A successful date ends with two people on the same page who are happy that they were able to spend time together.  This date was a total success and I'm very happy that I went.

Lunch with my sister

My sister came into town today for a wedding.  She called me and asked if I could show her to the bookstore on campus so she could buy her husband a frame for his diploma.  I was excited!  It's nice to be able to have a relative come into town and see me, if only for an hour or so.

So she and I went to campus and bought the frame at the bookstore, and then she asked if there was anything good to eat on campus and if I'd like to eat with her.  I eagerly accepted the offer and we ate at Taco Time.  I got a crisp bean burrito, a taco, some "Mexi-Fries," and a beverage.  She got a crisp bean burrito.  It occurred to me far too late that we could have just gone in together on the 4 for $5 deal - d'oh!

We talked and naturally dating came up, mostly because of me.  Let's face it, dating is on my mind a lot.  I told her that I had a goal and she suggested something else.  I think that the goal she proposed is a much, much better goal.  She said that I should set a goal to just meet new people every week or month or so.  I think she has a great idea!  I want to meet two new people every week, and I want one of them to be a woman.  So there it is!  My new goal!  I'm going to visualize this happening, I'm going to look for opportunities to meet new people (specifically women), and I'm going to meet them.  Even if I have to bake cookies and take them to an apartment of girls in my ward, I'll do it.

Tonight I have the opportunity to join a choir and get shakes at Sonic.  I think that will provide ample opportunity to meet some new people.   I'm going to try and meet one or two at choir, and one at Sonic.

This is very exciting, isn't it?  I have the chance to meet new people.  And as I meet new people, I'll be able to expand my dating pool.  Good things are happening.  I am going to continue to act as though God has given me what I have asked for and I will continue to believe that he'll bless me with the things that I desire.

Getting what I want

I re-started this blog with a new look and a new outlook on life.  I didn't want my blog to be negative and I also didn't want it to sit dormant.  I want to talk about how I've been overcoming trials and such.  After six long years, I'm finally understanding and internalizing the great Law of Attraction.  It has really changed my life.  There is a good scriptural basis for this teaching, many of which come straight from the mouth of Jesus Christ.

I went to a dance last Saturday and came home with two phone numbers.  One was from a girl that I was really interested in, and the other was from a woman that I was taking a chance on, but I wasn't really interested in.  I decided to take a chance on her because you don't know where you'll find love.  I think that I should give many people a chance instead of focusing on so few.

By the next day, I had sent texts to both of the numbers, but neither had responded.  I will never understand why a woman would give her phone number to a man if she does not intend to communicate with him.  Just say no.  It hurts WAY less.

Anyway, I hadn't heard from either of them, but I was really interested in getting to know one of them, so I invited her to go with a large group and myself to get shakes on Thursday.  Thus far, she hasn't responded.  For the other woman, I sent her a text to see how she's doing today.  She actually replied!  And now we have some tentative plans to get together on a weekday and go for a hike or something fun like that.  Aren't I glad I took a chance?!

This whole experience has kind of made me depressed.  I've just felt badly about myself  ever since the dance.  This usually happens, but like a moth to a light, I keep going back to the dances.  After feeling this way for days and thinking about it very carefully, I realized that I'm not believing that I will receive what I want, which is a girlfriend and then a wife.  One way I'm showing that I'm not believing is that I'm not acting as though I already have what I want.  Another way I'm showing that I'm not believing is that I'm not actively thanking the Lord for bringing me what I want.  I also have little in the way of a plan to get what I want and I'm not feeling good now.  How can I attract what I want when I'm not doing everything I'm supposed to be doing?

So here's what I'm going to do to counteract this.  I already have a plan and a date by when I want a new girlfriend.  I know that working with a set date isn't easy, but I can do it.  I am going to begin to actively thank Heavenly Father for giving me what I desire most, which is the companionship of a woman who loves me and one whom I love as well.  I am also going to state to Him and to the world that I want a new girlfriend by that set date.  And then, I am going to act as though I already have what I want.  I am going to set aside evenings to spend time with the woman I love, I'm going to cook extra food when I make food, I'm going to remember her when I start to feel down or lonely, and I'm going to visualize myself holding her hand when I'm in the car; at church; or someplace else.   I am going to completely act and feel as though God has granted me the perfect companion and I am going to thank Him every day for it.  When times are tough, I'm going to thank Him as often as I can remember.

I know that I already love this woman, even though I'm unsure of who she is.  I have some ideas of women that I want her to be though!  But I know that God will allow me to meet the right woman for me, and He will allow for me to love her to my heart's content.  I just love her so much already!  It will be hard not to gush over her, much like I have previous girlfriends.  I just feel like I have so much love to express to her.  It feels as though I'm holding back a waterfall within me, and when I am able to show affection to her, it will gush out and keep gushing at full capacity for years.  I love you, whoever you are.  I can't wait to show you how much I love you.

Pizza rolls tonight

I promise that I'm not just going to post recipes.  In fact, I think I'll post something right after this.  But I had to share how awesomely easy and delicious this recipe is!

Here's what you need:

Pizza dough using this recipe.
String cheese
Pepperoni
Other "toppings" (optional)
Hunt's Traditional spaghetti sauce (semi-optional)
Garlic powder (used with the sauce)

This is really easy to make!  After you have made the dough, you can rise it in the microwave on the lowest power setting.  Let it run for three minutes, cool for three minutes, then run for another six minutes, then cool for a few minutes.  Depending on how much you want it to rise, you can repeat those steps as much as you like.

Put some flour down on your clean countertop or cutting board and then roll the dough so it gets pretty thin.  Trust me that you want it decently thin or else you get all dough and zero filling.

Next, take four slices of pepperoni and lay them down in a row so they're overlapping about a quarter slice each.  Then put down a stick of string cheese on top of the pepperoni.  After you have done that, place another four slices of pepperoni on top of the piece of string cheese.

After you have lined up your filling, simply roll the filling so that the dough connects, and then pinch the sides and edges so that everything gets closed up.

One option here is to spray with a little butter and then coat with garlic powder and Parmesan cheese.  I didn't do that on mine, but you may as well go nuts!

Bake at 450F for about 12 minutes or until the dough is golden brown.  Your result will look something like this:

If you take the Hunt's Traditional spaghetti sauce (my favorite spaghetti sauce) and mix in some garlic powder, you have an excellent pizza sauce.  You can serve that at the side for dipping.  I suppose you could also add it to the filling in one way or another, but I think it's fun to have at the side.

I got the idea for this after having Pizza Hut's stuffed pizza rollers.  They were so good that I knew I had to make them myself.  Believe it or not, I didn't make this for a whole year!  I can't believe I waited so long!  Make this for dinner tonight.  You can even get creative and cut the string cheese in half to make smaller rolls, or add sausage or peppers or something.  It's your dish, make it fun!  I'll bet having these stuffed with ham and mild cheddar cheese would be delicious.  It's like making your own Hot Pockets, but tons better.  In fact, I might make a bunch of these and freeze them for those days in grad school where I have to have a quick meal.

Crock-pot Pork Roast

I have another recipe for you!  I didn't post for a day or so, and this is all I have for now.  I actually went to a scholarship luncheon and it took me all day.  I've also been doing homework and stuff.  Whatever.  Anyway, here's a good recipe for you!

Here's what you'll need:
Pork roast (or tenderloin or whatever; I just bought what was on sale a few weeks back)
Pepsi Wild Cherry (yep, I'm a Pepsi man)
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Parsley flakes
Vinegar (kind of optional)
Aluminum foil (also kind of optional)

I decided to throw out measurements a while back.  I have good luck with just throwing things in.  That's the beauty of a Crock-pot!  Anyway, take the pork and put it in the Crock-pot.  Then pour around 4-6 ounces of Pepsi Wild Cherry on top of it.  Get your vinegar and just pour a little shot of it in.  Some might measure it and put in 2-4 ounces in, but I just give it a quick pour.  The more vinegar you put in, the more of a bitter "bite" your meat will have.  Then toss on your garlic powder, onion powder, and parsley flakes.  If there's another seasoning you would like with it, put that on too!  Last, take a sheet of aluminum foil and place it over the meat.  Kind of push it down around the meat.  What this does is it shrinks the cooking area and prevents steam from escaping.  I have a 6-quart Crock-pot with a vent in the lid, so I have to do this every time to prevent my meat from drying out.

When you've done all of the above, cook on high for six hours, or on low for about 8 or so hours.  If you pop this in the Crock-pot at noon, you'll have a delicious roast in time for dinner.  Or you can put it in before work or church or whatever you have in the morning and it will be ready by dinner time.

I like to eat this meat with green beans, roasted potatoes, rolls, and a glass of milk...and the rest of the can of Pepsi.
Enjoy!

Fried chicken for dinner

Well...not "fried," per se, but it's some dang good chicken.  I've entered this cooking phase of my life and I've been doing it for pretty well all of this year so far.  I bought a Crock-pot and I started going to Crockpot365 for recipes.  Not all of them are good for the Crock-pot though.  Anyhow, I just took a look at her recipe and then did my own thing.  Isn't that how it goes?  Here is what I made tonight and how to make it yourself.

Oven-fried Chicken Legs

Preheat oven to 425F

1 pack of skinless chicken legs (I buy them fresh from Smith's and skin them)
3 oz. or so of flour
2 tsp of Creole seasoning
Spray cooking oil

Take the thawed and skinned chicken and dredge it in the flour and seasoning.  To do this, put the flour and the seasoning in a gallon-size bag (or shallow dish, but I think the bag is better).  Give it a shake to mix, and then drop in a drumstick at a time.  Shake the bag a few times to get the chicken coated and then place on a greased cookie sheet.  After you have placed all of the coated chicken on the cookie sheet, take your cooking oil and spray it liberally over the chicken.  Make sure you get the chicken coated in the oil, but also don't spray off the flour.

Bake for about 40 minutes or so and then serve after it has cooled a bit.

It's a simple recipe, but it sure made for a delicious dinner!  I wish I had the recipe for Smith's fried chicken because I think theirs is the best.  It's too expensive to buy on a regular basis though!  Eight bucks for eight pieces?  No thanks!  This recipe can make 18 pieces for less than $6 if you get the chicken on sale.

For those who are reading this (both of you) and are wondering why I didn't include a picture, it's because I had to run before I took the chicken out of the oven.  I sing to the elderly after church and it interfered with dinner tonight.  It interferes with dinner every Sunday, actually, but whatever.  Some of the people we sang to tonight had tears in their eyes because they could really feel the Spirit, which made it quite the rewarding experience!  Fortunately for me, my neighbors were gracious enough to take the chicken out of the oven for me.  So even though it had been sitting out for a little and it had dried some, it was still some great chicken.

A new life outlook

It has been years since posting here, but my life recently changed and I got this urge to write about it.  I kept on thinking about looking up blogs discussing these changes, but I decided instead to change my blog to reflect my new feelings and my new life.

Since posting last, I learned more of the Atonement, had a new relationship for six months (I was certain I was going to marry her...), got admitted to grad school twice, served a short mission, and moved to four new cities, finally winding up in a mountain town where I attend grad school for an MBA.  Life sure is different now than it was all those years ago!  And guess what?  I'm happy!  I feel happy!  Sure, some things get me down (like last night), but I just feel better about life and I feel great about myself.

Several weeks ago, two men from church came over to visit.  I was talking to them about how bad I felt.  I felt so sad about life, dating, church, and just everything going on.  One of them talked about how he asks God to confirm things to him and then reads his scriptures fully believing that He will confirm those things.  I decided to try an experiment.  I did exactly what this man said that he does.  And I really, really believed that I would receive answers.  And guess what?  I did!

This process reminded me of something that was introduced to me years ago in college.  My mentor recommended that I watch the DVD of The Secret.  I've watched that movie so many times over the years (at least once per year) and I never really got it.  But now I understand.  I understand the law of attraction!

I've been listening to the audiobook for The Secret and I've watched the video several times over the last few weeks.  I feel immensely happier.  And I've noticed that I have many of the things that I've been desiring for a long time.  For example, I've wanted friends, and I have friends.

I decided to start putting this law of attraction into practice.  I started with something small.  I wanted to find a quarter, tails side up.   I went on walks around the neighborhood.  I looked in parking lots wherever I went.  I believed every day that I would find that quarter.  I told one of the men that had come by a week or two before, and he said that what I had was "Disney faith," that is, believing that something will happen without me doing anything for it.  He's only partially correct.  he doesn't understand that this is about drawing something to you.  As you think about something, you bring yourself toward it.   Incidentally, it seems like you bring it toward you.

Long story short: I found that quarter, tails side up.  I found it alongside two other quarters.  I got something small.  Now on to larger things.